when i press reset connection it does nothing and doesnt restart the emulator
That is not meant to restart anything.
It just cuts the cord.
I hope you are not trying to use aistarter, the complicated all-in-one feature that tries to juggle both the emulator and the Companion at once.
It's simpler to have control of your own emulator, with a Companion you installed and started, and a connection you initiated using the Connect->Companion option.
Is there any way to restart the device or emulator?
Another question is why when i close the emulator it does not shut down the "phone" and when i open the emulator again it opens to where i left it and is there a way to turn this off?
Thank you.
The emulator should have a button to close the current app, like <- (the Back button).
It's a good habit to shut things down in reverse order to how they were started.
Shutting down the emulator with an app still running is like turning off your car's ignition while the car is still in Drive. You will get a nasty surprise when you next turn on the ignition.